what is love?

what is the meaning of love?

i never know about love.

the one thing that i know from the word "love" is

it's an adjective, not noun or verb.

that's it.

but one day i saw them.

i saw that old man and his wife.

i saw them entering the church.

i watched how the way the wife held the old man's hand.

i saw her bright smile when she looked at her husband.

they sat in front of me.

the old woman gave candy to her husband.

sweet....

the old man didn't sing,

maybe he was too old to sing,

or maybe he couldn't sing the song.

near him,

the old woman sing happily.

i never took my eyes off of them.

when they walked outside the church,

the old woman smiled at me,

the old man only looked at me.

i didn't know what to do.

then i just smiled back.

i smiled like a little kid saw an ice cream.

i didn't know why,

but i was really happy to see them.

again, she held her husband's hand tightly.

they walked slowly out of the church.

and then i realized,

that was love.

those wrinkle faces and old smile were what i called love.

i saw love through those weak hands that hold each other.

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i can't see your face,
but every time when i close my eyes,
you always stand still in front of me.

i can't hear your voice,
but it seems there's your voice recorder in my head,
that makes me always remember your voice.

i don't need to go to your place if i want to see you.
i don't need to meet you if i want to hear your voice.

i don't want to notice about my feelings.
no, i don't want to.
because i know that you don't even notice my existence.

if this what people call fall in love,
then i must be madly in love.

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i want to see this world.
i want to meet many people.
i want to know more about this world.
before i die,
i want to go around the world.

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you don't know my story.
you don't know my life.
you don't know what kind of person I am.

i don't want you to know it.
i don't want you to know me.

don't, don't come close to me.
don't, don't say that i'm good for you.
don't, don't say that you will protect me.
don't, don't say that you love me.

i can take care of myself.
i don't need your love.
i don't believe in love.
i can stand alone.

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don't ask me why,
because u will not find the answer.
don't ask me why,
because u will not satisfy with my answer.
don't ask me why,
because i'm not smart enough to answer it.

don't ask me why i can't open my heart.
don't ask me why i can't fall in love.
don't ask me why.

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let me tell you a story...

deep in the forest,
there's a princess live with her family.
they live very happy.

one day,
the princess feels that she wants to go out of the castle.
she wants to go outside.
she wants to see the world outside the stone walls.
she wants to see the green forest.

she thinks that the world outside the castle must be amazing.
she thinks she can find beautiful villages with the friendly villagers.
she thinks she can play with the cute animals in the forest.
she thinks she can have a great adventure.
she even thinks she can meet a handsome prince,
who is hunting for a deer in the forest.

finally,
without knowing anything about what kind of world outside the castle,
she decides to go out of the castle.
she walks out of the castle gate.

it's really different with her imagination.
she doesn't find cute animal in the forest.
she doesn't find beautiful villages.
she doesn't find a handsome prince.
because she sees those beautiful things only in a story book.

what she can find only dark forest.
sometimes she hears the wolves howling.
it makes her trembling.
when she wants to go back,
she already goes to far.
she can't find way back home.
she gets lost.

in that dark forest which is full of unknown danger,
she stands alone.
no family,
no friends,
no one comes to get her.
she is alone.

it's useless to regret it.
the wolves can get her anytime they want.
the wind can rip her body.
the ground can eat her alive.
the sky can fall upon her.
the forest will make her die alone, and slowly.
she will die in loneliness.
no one will find her body.

_____THE END_____

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tik-tok-tik-tok....
the clock is ticking so fast
it can't move backward.
it only can move forward.

tik-tok-tik-tok....
no one can rule the time.
it is not something that people can control.

tik-tok-tik-tok....
it will never stop.
it will not wait you.
don't stop or you'll left behind!

tik-tok-tik-tok....
be careful with the time...

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fall in love is the greatest thing in this world,
it's a miracle when u love someone and that person loves u back.
because not all people can be together with the person they love.

if someone breaks your heart, don't get lost.
stand still and smile.
because another love will come to your life.
it's okay to be sad.
u'll find a new love.

don't stop walking,
if you need to run, then run.
yet, love is not something that u can get in a hurry.
don't run to fast,
take a rest if you tired.
u don't know if u'll find your new love while u take a rest.
be patience, love will come to u.
there's no need in a hurry to find your love.

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it's never change.
the thing i hate the most is still the same.
i hate the sun the most.

it's too bright,
i can't stand it.
sometimes i get dizzy by its light.

i want to hide from it.
i want to run away from it.
i want to avoid it.
unlucky,
no matter i want to hide, run away, or avoid it,
i still need it sometimes to warm my whole body.

this morning i tried to stay in my room all day long,
but it was getting cold somehow.
the sun was shining so bright outside,
contrary, i felt really cold in this room.

i still didn't want go out.
i thought i couldn't stand its light.
i was afraid if i would get burn.
my body and my heart.

let me stay in this coldness,
i don't want to see the sun.
yes, i hate the sun.

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your future is dark and gloomy.

no hope, no light, only sorrow.

your dreams are only nightmares.

never end nightmares.

no happiness nor smile in your face.

tears always in your beautiful eyes.

kill, kill yourself and die!

why do you want to live?

there's no dream and hope for you!

go, go to hell!

no one cares about you!

there's no road you can choose,

you don't have the right to choose.

your destiny was chosen since you were born by those people.

cry, you only can cry.

no one will wipe your tears.

no one will stand by your side.

you are all alone.

kill, kill yourself and die!

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sometimes you don't realize that
you hurt someone,
you make someone cries,
you break someone's heart,
you upset someone,
you say mean words to someone,
you do bad things to someone,

but when you realize it,  will you regret it and ask for apologize?

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sleep, sleep my dear...
i'll escort you to your dream.
have a beautiful dream,
where there's no hatred and revenge.
dream a beautiful dream,
where there's hope, love, and peace.

sleep, sleep my sweetheart...
because only in a dream you can find good things in this world.
because only in a dream, you can reach all your dreams.

sleep, sleep my beloved...
i'll stay by your side.
i'll sing a sorrow lullaby for you.
a lullaby song of tears and blood.
this sorrow lullaby will send you to a beautiful dreams.

sleep, sleep my love...
this is my sorrow lullaby.

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aku bukan jendral yang memimpin peperangan.
aku juga bukan raja yang bersembunyi ketika perang pecah.
aku bukan permaisuri yang hanya bertugas untuk melayani raja.
aku bukan putri catik yang dipinang oleh pangeran tampan.

aku hanya 1 dari berlaksa-laksa prajurit yang ikut berperang,
yang jika gugur di medan peperangan tak akan digubris oleh siapapun.
orang tak akan mengingat jasaku atau budiku pada negaraku.
tapi aku akan tetap berjuang walaupun orang tak mengenangku setelah aku mati.

sekarang ini tugasku sebagai prajurit yang ada digaris terdepan.
hidup dan mati bukan pilihan.
hidup dan matiku adalah takdir.
entah hari ini, besok, atau lusa, aku tak tahu kapan maut menjemputku.
yang kutahu pasti adalah aku harus bertempur.

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you were created for one special reason.
there's no one born without any purpose.

do u know why God creates the poor?
so that the rich can look down,
and help them to get out of the poverty.

why God creates the handicapped?
so that the normal more appreciate their body.

have you found out why God creates you?

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